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Summary

Fancy Gramophones? No sir! These are the the future of music in your home. Behold the Phonograph, the finest quality music player you will ever witness. Instead of a large clumsy record, it plays music off a high definition spool of compressed music. No gramophone will compare to the beautiful sound from this device.

Where do you even go about getting your hands on a Phonograph? Well, the technology behind them is closely guarded (can't have those pesky Burkelanders stealing it!) so only the oligarchs and their buddies can even think about commissioning one from a place in Dresden. Luckily for you, my dearest customer, I have just the sort of talents to bring this product to you.